A VIEW FROM A BROAD #5 – The legendary Gouda Gabor has done TV, stage… and probably a few of your husbands. She has been visiting Puerto Vallarta since the Malecon was just a “Mal”, but now she makes her home here and looks forward to sharing her observations of what’s on the stage and what’s on the streets of Vallarta…
My darling buds of May, this month heralds the coming of the big Puerto Vallarta Pride celebrations from May 20 – 27. The “official” guide will let all the tourists know where the white-sy …circuit-y parties are, but here is Gouda’s Guide to where you can bag a local boy! I am happy to let you in on some of my favourite haunts where the PV cool-kids hang out! If you are looking for the after-beach hot-spots in Zona Romantica, Anonimo is a must, 3 levels of casual class with a beautiful outdoor patio which is only outdone by the handsome bartenders and hosts Roger & Bryan. One block north, just up from the Los Muertos pier is Chachalaka where Christopher and his sweet team have great happy hour specials and evening entertainment. Just one block up the hill from Chachalaka, everyone ends up at Hotel Mercurio for Paul’s famous Sunday ‘Beers, Boys & Burgers’ pool party from 3 to 8pm on May 26. Special Pride entertainment will include the ‘Dual Ballet’ troupe, the Mercurio Swim models, and go-go boys. Mercurio is also sponsoring the May 24 th Drag Derby…just head 2 blocks over to the bottom of the funicular at the top of Pulpito for a DRAGtastic event. The streets are closed off as the queens will compete in various challenges performed in heels on cobblestones! Then they will hit the stage to entertain you and further vie for the top prize. After the derby you can just pop next door to one of my fave restaurants where Morgan and Tracy and the staff at Swedes will treat you like a queen!
Also on the 24th is the GAYPV.com pool party at Rainbow Palms. Your VIP pass includes food, drinks, and round-trip transportation from Lazaro Cardenas Park – check out Vallarta Pride Pool Party on Facebook for more details. Make sure to tell them “Gouda sent you” to get the local discount price! The gays of PV Pride shall gather in the evening at the clubs on the Lázaro Cárdenas strip. The BIG new venues to check out are CODE and Industry, which both offer spectacular sights and sounds. The latest nudie-bar “69” is a must to visit, even if just to marvel at the over-the-top design including the grand penis chandelier, penis table bases, and even the goddamn faucets in the loo’s are penises! If things get a little too wild for you, head up just one more block & hit Reinas where Marcus & his sweet boys will remember your name and your drink after just one visit. I call it “Cheers” for gays! Two of the theatres will be open for Pride week. Act 2 has the Broadway hit ‘Avenue Q’ playing, and over at Incanto Vallarta the fabulous musical ‘Naked Boys Singing’ (yes my dears, the 5 handsome young Latino singers are in fact…N A K E D on stage) is back!
Last but not least, you must come and see ME! The legendary Gouda Gabor will be performing her cabaret act of comedy and song with the dashing Mr. Derek Carkner, at the beautiful Incanto show lounge on May 21, 23 and 25 at 9:30 pm. You must come…no I mean you really MUST, because I have PMS and GPS…that means I am a bitch who will find you!
Hasta leugo, and always remember Gouda’s 3 Spanish phrases that every visitor to Puerta
Vallarta must know:
1- Donde consigo el bus a Walmart?
2- Yo vivo aqui; discuenta por favor.
3- No tocar mi penga!
Happy pride my darlings…play hard, play safe & enjoy beautiful Puerto Vallarta at its gayest!