A VIEW FROM A BROAD #10 – The legendary Gouda Gabor

gouda gabor satire column

A VIEW FROM A BROAD #10 – The legendary Gouda Gabor has done TV, stage… and probably a few of your husbands. She has been visiting Puerto Vallarta since the Malecon was just a “Mal”, but now she makes her home here and looks forward to sharing her observations of what’s on the stage and what’s on the streets of Vallarta… ..

The Coronavirus is no #PacificoPOOHpooh…while things remain sane in Vallarta, the world has gone crazy with hoarding toilet paper and overreacting to the wild media reports. Yes, this is a serious disease, but the world has seen much worse. There is much scientists do not know, but they do know that unless you are a senior citizen in poor health, the odds are teeny that you are only looking at mild to medium illness if you are unfortunate enough to contact the disease.

What scares me more is the reaction to Coronavirus…markets falling, quarantines, and the fear that is abounding everywhere…about everything! In Vallarta, businesses are already reporting a B I G downturn in the past week. Folks are cancelling their reservations and not going out as much. Many of my favourite local hangouts run close to the bone and need to make extra money in high season to cover the cost of salaries and leases in the slower low season. These local folks need our help and support N O W! Although I will note places like Walmart & Starbucks employ locals, let’s support our people in our community, the little guys and gals who are truly local businesses, our hotels, restaurants, bars, stores and theatres. Take those pesos you were hiding under your mattress and hit a gay bar you have not been too…have an extra margarita…a double order of tacos, catch that show you have been thinking about, buy that nice tank top in the window…why you might even slip some extra pesos down the g-strings of your favourite #WETboys, but do promise me you won’t go back in for change!

Visitors, Vallarta is still very much open for your business and even the Costco has lotsa toilet paper! We have lotsa service folks who are going to be XTRA nice and XTRA welcoming that you have not cancelled your trip and are here to enjoy Vallarta and all the wonders it has to offer. At Incanto Vallarta my show, the OH BOY cabaret has been held over and Gouda and her #superGUAPOS will sing, dance and prance for you every Sunday night in March at 9:30pm.

There will also be prancing and dancing at all the other fine entertainment venues, clubs, bars and restaurants so we hope to welcome you, or welcome you back! But be sensible….if u arrive in Vallarta for your holiday; slap on your speedo, buy some poppers, immerse your body in hand sanitizer…and then go suck a buncha dicks…I mean…really…THINK about it…and don’t blame me if you go home with S O M E T H I N G!



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