A Triad Relationship Shapes Amaria Villas Amaria Villas is a new gay resort located in the mountains along the Rio Cuale in Puerto Vallarta. This gorgeous jungle oasis caters to those that seek a unique and custom-tailored experience that also embraces the local culture and traditions. Pictured above are the owners from the left are Charlie Cole, middle Stanley Hamilton and right Trevor Curtis. What is unique is they are in a triad or 3 way relationship. So we wanted to introduce the resort and have them talk openly about the triad and how it shaped Amaria Villas.
Tell us how your triad came into existence.
Our triad began four years ago with a series of leaps of faith. While living in San Diego Trevor went to Galveston to be with his mom after she was diagnosed with cancer. This is where he first met Stanley. He decided to leave everything behind to be with his mother until she passed. Before she passed she was able to meet Stanley and said that Stanley was the one, she was half right. Stanley was taking care of his father at this time dealing with Alzheimer’s and found his way to the partner we consider “the nice one.” They hit it off and were able to provide comfort during these troubling times, creating a common bond. There were proposals, roses, chocolates, and maybe a few cracks of imperfection. No relationship is perfect, nor any human for that matter. This article isn’t one of fairy tale quality relationships are hard work.
Stanley brought up the idea of a third partner and the idea wasn’t perfectly welcomed but Trevor decided to be open minded. Trevor and Stanley were on interviews to find a third. Many of you boys may have been a part of that interview process. Although many of you were considered and called back for second and third rounds or even a couple of weeks, one man came with the most recommendations. Stanley had met Charlie at a concert a year before meeting Trevor but at that time Charlie was already spoken for. There was a series of missed connections. Charlie and Stanley were both members of the Montrose Gay Men’s Choir separated by a single season but since Charlie is a bass and Stanley is a tenor there would have been a whole row of men to work through before they got to each other. Charlie booked a 10-day trip to go on a date with Stanley and Trevor, after only having talked to Trevor on a phone with a few text messages they felt there was a great connection between them. He got to PV on Monday cancelled his return trip on Wednesday. Stanley left for Houston on Thursday leaving Trevor and Charlie to spend a little time getting to know each other. On Friday, Trevor and Charlie went to meet some friends and Charlie was introduced to Devin as “the third.” Devin asked how long had this been going on and where was he living. It was at that point that Charlie realized he was living, dating, and working with two men one of which he had only known for four days. LEAP OF FAITH!
What does seem obvious is that this was not a chance happening as evident by the number of uncanny synchronicities. At the time of this article Trevor has been sober for 13 years while Charlie has nine years under his belt. Trevor and Charlie have identical spells in their grimoires, rare ones and both carry a set of tarot cards. Stanley is a little different in terms of spirituality but his Green God hangs proudly at the entrance of Amaria Villas and was the first birthday present he received from his combined partners.
Being in a triad relationship
Stanley had been in a triad before and thought there were some great benefits. Charlie’s experience was limited to open long-term relationships with an occasional mutual crush. Trevor had not been in a long-term relationship prior to Stanley. This means we are all learning as we go and doing the best we can. We know very few couples that own a business together much less a poly relationship that runs a business, so this is definitely a crash course into one another’s natures.
We do have some mentors that we truly appreciate. Ronnie and David, the owners of Piñatas, have mentored us providing guidance and confidence for the new adventure. We have had a chance to spend time with our Houston friends (John, Geno, and Brandon) in a triad and they gave us wonderful advice. They let us know that there are four relationships in a triad. Relationships AB, AC, BC, and ABC must all be nurtured. Some are more difficult than others. There are dominance struggles even though we do realize Stanley is the alpha. There are love languages to learn, boundaries to understand, personalities that synch and clash, business disagreements and realignment of goals and compromises. There are bad times, horrible times, good times, and absolutely amazing times. When we hurt the mountains lose their luster.
However; when we are happy in love we accomplish pure acts of beauty. What we all agree on is that this is the chosen family we want. The love we have for one another is deep, we share secrets, desires, dreams, home, and our king-sized bed. We are committed to one another in the expression of love, fulfilling our true potential, and the need for purpose in our lives.
Everyone wants to know about the sex. The truth is that we are no porn stars, but we could be. We are three magically inclined men that live at the top of the mountain. What we do is sacred at times and primal at others. It is 32 flavors but it is not vanilla or boring. There are times when we visualize intentions during orgasms. There are times we have sex like animals, times we have sex like men, and times we have sex like gods. If our family is reading this, we apologize. If you want to see this in person please submit your request along with headshots to [email protected]
What would surprise people who have never been in a triad relationship
We believe finding roles is more difficult because there may not be as many blueprints. In a dual relationship it may be easier to know who cooks and who is going to make drinks. Roles kind of fall into place. With three people talents are a mix and match and it takes more time to see which of us are better suited for the roles.
Sleeping when traveling creates a new dilemma. The three of us fit into a king-sized bed with assigned seating. Most hotels offer a queen or two double mattresses. We had the same experience visiting family, they are often times nervous because they want to show support but haven’t figured out how to arrange the sleeping so we can all be together. We are flattered that they even tried. There is no need to push a couch to the side of a queen-sized mattress in fear of letting us down. We generally figure it out. Rest assured at Amaria Villas we offer king sized mattresses that can fit a triad or a couple and their overnight guest. It is also surprising that when one partner falls short in any area such as emotion support, physical touch, remembering important dates, and tackling bills there is normally another that can catch and step up. There are two people to remember your anniversary and birthdate. If one partner wants to skip morning sex and chooses to sleep in, you got one more chance to score.
There is also a very alchemical process that takes place. One person tends to be the fire and passion (Stanley), air and logic (Charlie), and water and emotional support (Trevor). The power of three is very strong. There are also times when arguments are able to reconcile faster as a result of a third viewpoint.
Tell us about your experiences in PV being in a triad?
It is easy to be in awe of the nature and landscape of PV and the best part about it is the acceptance of the community. There was a time Trevor broke his arm on an ATV accident and was taken care of by Oscar and the locals of Paso Ancho. They helped recoup the ATV and Oscar stood by Trevor’s side till he was at the hospital and we knew everything was OK. When a friend from Zona had a similar accident, we were able to return the support by coming to the rescue and on the way, we gathered others to join our own rescue team. It felt amazing to be a part of that unspoken bond of taking care of one another we all feel in this community. We have always felt 100% accepted, regardless of being a gay triad.
One of the things we have not been a fan of is some of the preconceived notions we have seen from the visitors. PV is vast and eclectic there are jungles, communities, and spots of interest bustling with beauty. However, many travelers seem content to stay in one area and not to explore. Our resort is only 20 minutes from Zona Romantica with a beautiful drive up the Cuale River but many seem afraid. There are a lot of comments about safety in the PV Facebook groups, but after leaving Houston we have not seen anything to suggest that PV is less safe than the city we left behind in the U.S.. It is almost like there is a brainwashing effect that we feel keeps people from being able to see the beauty of Mexico.
We also want people to be responsible to the local community. There are consequences at times to careless behavior and for stripping away a county’s resources. If you are promoter hosting parties please remember to donate to the organizations that provide local HIV funding. Puerto Vallarta makes enough money from gay foreign travel to ensure the health of the local gay community, which tends to be a part of the experience. PReP without proper funding can be close to 2000mxn a month which may be inexpensive in U.S. or Canada but might be out of reach for local budgets.
Tell us more how Amaria Villas came into existence.
Trevor and Stanley went zip lining at Canopy River on their first trip to PV and their tour guide Arturo asked them what they were planning to do with the rest of their vacation. They mentioned looking at property at which time Arturo said he had a friend who was selling some property just across the valley and asked them if they wanted to see it. After the Zip line tour Arturo took them to the property and Stanley fell in love with it right away. The plot of land consisted of a soccer field, lots of dirt and a single hut (shown in the photo to the left), little did they know that one day that little hut would turn into Amaria Villas. The land was owned by Sr. Arturo Randon, another blessing in our lives. On a handshake and a deposit, they went back to Houston and hired Arturo to run construction. Arturo welcomed the two into his family and as a result is now a part owner and part of the Amaria Villas family. If you ever visit us during the week you might
even get a glimpse of his perfect abs and fat free body. Fair warning gents, his wife is beautiful. This place is everything to us. It is pure magic with a life of its own. People talk about ley lines in PV and this in our opinion is an intersection of energy and love. We have met some of the most amazing and wonderful people here.
We have seen talent that has brought about a responsibility to share. Willi is our good friend, fire dancer, cyr wheel performer, and local beer craftsmen. He has been a part of us since day one and we carry his honey mead, wheat beer, and pilsner with cocoa and hints of vanilla. Masci and Majho are the most amazing couple of fire dancers that have performed for Savage Sunday and for a memorial and celebration of life. Knowing they are a couple changes everything. To see them perform with fire and to watch one flame dwindle to light the next magical implement while interlacing the strength when both flames are full is one of the most powerful metaphors for love and life we have witnessed. We have gotten to be a part of powerful statements.
We hosted PV’s first Red Dress party with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to raise money for Setac so we could make sure that the focus of pride was about supporting the local gay culture. We will be making this a yearly event with their blessings. There were financial struggles facing Setac which provides HIV, prep, and counseling services to the locals. We knew that even though it was our first year on the scene that we had to stand for what mattered most to us. We were honored to give up our rooms, food, and drinks to this highly influential group of friends and put the community first. DJ C-Rail from Austin even offered his pay as a donation back to Setac.
Pride was the first major event and we worked with Nuestro Orgullo (Our Pride) to create events that locals could afford. Pink and Proud took place here the Friday of Pride with an attendance of 200 ladies providing a safe space to be affectionate, proud, and a little naked. We were not present for the ladies’ event out of courtesy this last year but we heard it was over the top. We are building an expansion into the courtyard that will be able to hold an additional 300 people with stadium seating, outdoor natural views, and multi-layered platforms with aerial structures. This will give us an area to host concert venues, DJ festivals, yoga retreats, risqué circus performances, non-traditional weddings, and even native ceremonies like cacao rituals and Ayahuasca retreats.
Amaria Villas is also home to the largest clothing-optional heated pool in the city. The jungle setting allows one to float under wild Macaws flying overhead in the daytime, with the sounds of the flowing Cuale, and the backdrop of the Sierra Madres. The private waterfall has been the backdrop for many a naughty picture. The scenery will never get old for our triad. We have great events daily and are in the process of creating some special retreats. We hope each one of you will come to our website and will see some of the activities created by the power of three.
How has the triad relationship formulated the idea of Amarias Villas?
Well we are very unconventional and we don’t have many hang-ups when it comes to sex or nudity. Since the Triad option isn’t normally something people realize they can choose, we offer a very friendly environment for people to be a little closer with others. We don’t really want to be associated with purely sexual energy. We like to think of ourselves as more Sacral Chakra. When people are able to take off the morality twists and chains that keep them from being able to express themselves freely, they do tend to start off as a kid in a candy shop. Once they realize they aren’t going to get punished for eating too many sweets they tend to ease up a bit and become very authentic.
We have had some guest give us feedback that this was one of the first places they felt free to be themselves. We take those feedbacks with a great amount of gratitude. We believe we are still new in the creation of what Amaria Villas will become. There are three of us with very different backgrounds and each one of us has a legacy to leave behind. We want to create a special place that people don’t forget once they have been here. So far, we do feel like we are leaving very positive impressions. We have been guided every step of this way. Trevor becoming involved with SETAC was important because he has been living with HIV for 20 years. He has worked through stigmas and has a lot to offer in terms of acceptance and communities working together. He and Charlie both have long term sobriety and incorporate the need for connection and want those intimate connections to be a part of Amaria Villas. Stanley has been the force behind all of the dreams made manifest. He has brought the most to the table and is the biggest dreamer of all of us. Stanley will not do anything simple. Everything he does must be over the top. It is exhausting at times but it does add to what we provide, and we get a chance to feel great pride in what we do because he sets the bar high. We don’t do small. Evidently, we are size queens when it comes to leaving a mark. Being in a triad is a huge part of what we manifest in Amaria Villas. We have a lot we want to do and being in a triad is helping us all to achieve our desires. We believe any one of the three of us would be too intense for a traditional one on one relationship. We are more than a handful, maybe four handfuls. Luckily we all have two partners to deal with our shit… and our blessings. To share happiness with a small tribe is a blessing, and our triad provides that.
The impact of being three gay men in love with one another from such vast backgrounds means we can have insight into what people are seeking. People need connections and experiences to remind themselves of how amazing life is, and that its ok to be their authentic self. We walk authentically here in the sun, naked if we chose, dirty if we want to be, but never in shame. We tie that into our concept of Amaria Villas. We are also open to everyone… long as they are adults.